My Apologies, Susan B. Anthony

I was struck by something rather disturbing (and stupid) on Yahoo news, as per usual. I will admit that basically anything relating to Taylor Swift is enough to get my panties in a full on pretzel twist, but this article struck me as especially annoying.

http://shine.yahoo.com/fashion/exclusive-taylor-swift-39-cute-keds-campaign-girl-184100579.html

I have heard whispers, ok not even whispers, full on YELLS about Taylor Swift being considered a "feminist" for some time now. Being, ya know, a woman and all, this sentiment really burns my biscuits.

Taylor Swift is the new face of the feminist movement? Well, we might as well all shoot ourselves in the cunts right now and save ourselves the misery.

For so long "feminist" women have scolded other women who are skeptical about being related to the word "feminist." I, myself, find that I have practically avoided the label like the plague. I even make sure to fill a daily quota of misogynist jokes as to avoid being called the f-word.

What is the only thing worse than a chauvinist pig?

A woman who doesn't do what she's told.

Phew, okay, daily quota officially filled for the day. But I think this Taylor Swift nonsense is a very good example of why I refuse to subscribe to what the feminist movement has become.

Don't do that, T, I know it hurts too much.

But when you think about it, it is rather disturbing. Why do people associate the word feminist with a girl who has built her whole career off of complaining about boys dumping her? I mean why has "feminism" evolved into this bullshit movement where women just complain about how men have burned them and "broken" their weak little hearts. Why is it that songs like "I Knew You Were Trouble" or "Picture to Burn" have become new anthems for girl power?

Yes, please complain to me more about how a guy who you always knew was a douche bag, turned out to be, well, a douche bag! What a fucking twist! Now let me write a song about it... GIRL POWER!!!!

And the whole bit in "Picture to Burn" when she says, "go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy, that's fine I'll tell mine you're gay." If he is not into you, Ms. Swift, than he MUST be gay. This is a fair approach. Instead of outting Joe Jonas as the dipshit that he is, let's out him as a homosexual. Come to think of it, every guy that I have ever been involved with must be gay as well! It all makes sense now.

To be the proper feminist, it is crucial that you tear his house apart. Burn your fucking bra in his fireplace while you are at it because, yeah, that is what being an empowered woman means! Look at her, stalking her ex-boyfriend's house and drinking his mouthwash... you go girl! Besides, we women have absolutely nothing better to do anyways, apparently. We don't have jobs or lives or anything.

I was listening to the radio the other day and heard the DJ talking about how Taylor Swift was continuing to speak about who she lost her virginity to. There has been widespread speculation about whether or not Taylor Swift lost it to John Mayer or Jake Gylenhaal. For years we have waited with bated breath to find just WHO popped this girl's cherry. It just means everything.

Does this fixation on female virginity sound a little familiar to you? Sound like the good ol' days when we had things like dowries? When women's virginity was not just cute little thing ("aw, cute, she waited for marriage!") but an absolute non-negotiable if she planned on getting married. If a woman had lost it before marriage, she was considered damaged goods. And for those who know about Japanese culture (or for those, like me, who took the shortcut and read Memoirs of a Geisha) know about how young virgin women in Japan's bodies were sold, and their John would collect their blood as a keepsake (now that is one for the mantle!) The question is, who holds the vile of blood that is T-swifts virginity? John Mayer? Jake Gylenhaal? Harry Styles? Jesus Christ himself? So many possibilities.

So many questions left unanswered.

Her songs, her words and her whole personality that she has created encourage this speculation and fixation on something that is the opposite of progressive. In fact, she is literally preaching the oldest fucking shit in the book. You do not hear Hillary Clinton or Gloria Steinem go on and on to the public about who they lost it to. Lameskis.

For as long as people continue to insist that Taylor Swift is a feminist, I will keep at my role of being a avid misogynist, picket signs and all.

XOXO,
Jules