As I approached my high school years, I came to embrace this inconspicuous existence. I could fart in a whole classroom full of people and no one would even hear it. I could light up a joint in the middle of biology class and no one would even look my way. It was like being fucking Harry Potter with that fucking invisibility cloak shit. I was on top of the world and no one even knew it!
In all seriousness, my loner-status became a part of my identity, not only as as a person, but even as a writer. I took pride in being the one who is on the outside, looking in. I fancied myself a sort of Henry David Thoreau (but, like, a little cuter and less of a fan of ponds or any other fresh-water bodies). Or perhaps I was more like an Emily Dickinson (but with few social skills). I really grew to love being the judge and not the one being judged... that was really working out well for me.
But then, as quickly as you can say "butt crack," things seemed to change for me recently. All of a sudden, people had something to fucking say. All of a sudden, people started to learn my name for crying out loud! I mean, granted, they learned it wrong. They called me the dreaded: "JuliAWnna." Regardless, they were calling me A name and that is where all the trouble began.
All it takes is for them to know your name in order to concoct an elaborate story about how you are sleeping with this, that and the other thing. Your favorite color? Your birthday? Your favorite Spice Girl? All of that information is irrelevant when people are bored and there is nothing better on television that month.
Dragging someone's professional reputation through the mud is completely necessary when the gallon of Ben & Jerry's is finished, when you have not had any OKCupid dates lately and when Orange is the New Black is on hiatus (fuck Orange is the New Black, by the way).
6th grade Jules would have been absolutely thrilled about this new found fame. 6th grade me could be fake sleeping with fucking EVERYONE for all she cared! Color me slutty, as long as they knew my name, I would have been over the fucking moon.
But do me a small favor? My name is Julianna... it's not fucking JuliAWnna for the love of everything holy.