Saturday, February 2, 2013

Taking Sexy Back

First he brought it back... now he decided to take that shit back again. What Justin Timberlake giveth, Justin Timberlake taketh away.

I can not believe I am about to write a whole blog post about Justin Timberlake and company. I will make this snappy, of course. Never did I ever think it would come to this. However, I found this vital after listening to this new nonsense that Justin Timberlake put out...alongside someone who should have been on my "honorable mention" list of my least favorite people: Jay-Z.
...look at you rockin out. "Best rapper alive" MY FOOT. What is even up with those glasses? I can't.

But, I digress. Don't get it twisted, I have never been much of a Justin Timberlake fan. Back in the days of NSYNC he was not my pick... No, people, I only had eyes for one man and one man only. His name was Lance Bass. I wanted to do dirty, dirty things to him. And by dirty I mean hold hands... or feed our Tamagotchis together or something.

...My bad? GAWD GAYYYYY!!!
HE MOVED INTO THE CITY AND NOW HE'S GAY!!! So it turned out that Lance Bass wanted nothing that I I guess I had to move on. But Lance, I just want you to know, if you ever come over to the dark side... you know where to find me.

You best believe that I was not team Justin during the whole Britney break up. That's my girl right there, I will defend her to the death. However, Justin and I put our differences aside when he released his FutureSex/LoveSounds album.
He had some hot beats, not gonna lie to you for a minute. Bravo, JT...BRAVA. But I have said it once, and I will say it again: with great power, comes great responsibility. JT could not live up to his responsibilities as a "Sexy-ness provider," so to speak. It is because of this album that I had such high expectations for Justin Timberlake's new shiz... and he went and disappointed a ho with this "Suit and Tie" bullshit. It was my first boner kill of 2013. Do not get me wrong, a lot of people like this song. However, please tell me I am not alone on this. Please tell me there is someone out there who agrees that JT should take a step back?
Also Justin, the acting thing... meh. I am not really feeling it. I guess it was cool that you played the Napster guy, but please keep your hands off Mila Kunis. She is a saint.

This leads me to pose my final question. Where has all the good music gone? Where is Nelly Furtado and Timbaland? Where is my Eminem (Yeah, I said it)? The Pussycat Dolls? I will even take a lip syncing Beyonce over this crap. I just want some good, catchy, stupid music to listen to and dammit I will get this if it is the last thing I do. All I hear these days is Justin Bieber and that annoying cat Bruno Mars. GET IT OUT!



P.S. And JT, Mary Camden from 7th Heaven... really now?

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