Sunday, June 22, 2014

Winter is NOT Coming

About two years ago, when I was bored and desperately seeking a new television show to get addicted to, I tried watching the irritatingly popular show Game of Thrones. Anyone who knows me is well aware that I am not one to stray from shows that have a wide-spread fan base. In other words, I am a firm believer in the philosophy: three million flies can't be wrong. If a lot of people like a show, on most occasions, I will enjoy it on some level (ironically or non-ironically). Television is my religion, and the TV guide is my bible.
I began watching the show with all these expectations that I would be instantly hooked and interested. However, my hopes and dreams were squashed when I was four episodes into the television series and still could not for the very life of me get through an episode in one sitting. By the fourth episode, I was taking five hour energy just to keep my eyes open through the opening credits. Unfortunately, five hour energy is no match to something as boring and snail-paced as Game of Thrones.
As it turns out, three million flies CAN be wrong, after all.

I gave up all hope in the show and abandoned it completely... well, not completely. Over the past two years following my initial viewing, I had phases where I suffered from insomnia. On those nights, I would flick on some Game of Thrones and I was good to go. No more NyQuil and no more Ambien for Jules. I got the best sleep of my life, all thanks to this medieval bullshit that you call entertainment. Thrones now served an important purpose in my life and I couldn't be more grateful.

Recently, with my insomnia days in my past, I ignorantly decided to give Thrones another chance. Most of the shows that I watched during the year have ended and I really needed something mindless to do with my time. I got seven episodes in this time around. I still came to the same conclusion: Game of Thrones sucks major ball sack.

Now, trust me, all of you pretentious people who insist that this show is not complete garbage, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that I am "probably not clever enough to 'understand' the 'complexity' of the show." I have heard this nonsense before. I will have you know though, that this thought has crossed my mind. However, I quickly debunked this theory when I noticed all of the dumb biddies in my newsfeed flicking their beans to the show. How is it that the girl on facebook who does not know the difference between "your and you're" understands this "complexity" better than me? How is it that the guy whose one hero in life is Turtle from Entourage is able to understand Game of Thrones but I am not? Real questions, I pose 'em.

So what should we make of all of this? What arguably began as a hipster show has now been completely mainstreamed and, therefore, destroyed. Any self-respecting hipster will jump ship now if they want to salvage their reputation of being "different."

However, I suspect something a lot more disturbing is a-brewin' in the television world. I detect an outbreak of pseudo-intellectualism running rampant in these parts. This is a pseudo-intellectual movement that is causing a sense of elitism among the morons of our nation.

The questions we should really be asking are: when did television become "high-brow?" And, more importantly, why are we judged, not by the content of our character but...on the television shows that we watch? Why does my love for Real Housewives of Orange County make me any dumber than the half-wits that are watching Thrones?

So let's not get it twisted, just because you have the ability to sit through Game of Thrones, does not mean you have one brain cell to your name. All it means is that you are either a masochist or you are trying to get into some nerd's knickers.

I see you.


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