Sunday, June 15, 2014

Guns Don't Kill People

...I kill people. Also, as it turns out, crazy people with guns do... quite often.

Now, I am not one to bring up tragic and serious issues. Mainly my blog consists of making fun of everyone and everything I can think of (with the exception of hot people and cute pomeranians). I usually leave the serious topics for the hipsters and the pseudo-intellectuals to discuss on THEIR blogs that NO ONE is reading. They like to use fancy words like "dystopia" and "bourgeois." I generally stick to basic words like "cunt" and "cooter" (and throw in the occasional "numb nut" when the mood calls for it).
When they are not complaining about Lana Del Rey not being a feminist, (OH MY GOD!!! THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!) they have some other boner killing topic to hash out. Thus, ruining all of our days and making us all want to kill ourselves. Cute.

However, it seems the topic of gun violence (which seems like a redundant phrase because isn't the whole purpose of a gun to inflict a violent action?) is inevitable. Each day brings a new story (but really, the same story over and over again). Someone who is just a WITTLE BIT unstable gets a hold of a lot of guns, they decide they have an important point to prove and then decide to kill a bunch of random people in order to make that point. Makes perfect sense, of course.

The recent shooting in Santa Barbara involved a gunman who was incredibly ornery about the fact that he was a 22-year-old virgin.
Do not waste your time reading his 142 page "Manifesto" that was ignorantly published by the New York Times.  This was the basic gist of why he did what he did. The whole time you will just be thinking, WILL SOMEONE JUST BANG THIS PSYCHOPATH ALREADY?! God.

All kidding aside, Elliot Rodger clearly suffered from clinical depression which seemed to never truly be addressed by either one of his parents. I suppose they had more important things to do like producing The Hunger Games and hang out with Jennifer Lawrence.
However, as usual, the media goes crazy, seeking information and details on the person responsible for all of these deaths. Thanks to the New York Times, we all know who Elliot Rodger is, when his birthday was, his favorite television show, where he went to school and even when his fucking last period was. Through our own doing, he receives the notoriety that he sought out to begin with. However, it is the victims of Elliot Rodger, that we know next to nothing about. I do not think I can name one person who he killed on that day.

There is no singular and no simple solution to what clearly is a disease of our society. Day after day more and more people cling tighter to their legally or illegally purchased guns with some nonsensical fantasy that not only will the gun save them from these "crazies," but that they also have some kind of a right to own it.
"BUT I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS!!!!!!!" Okay, let us pretend for a second that that was not written a billion years ago. Even if you have that gun that you have a supposed right to, what is that gun really going to do for you when push comes to shove? Are you going to sleep with your gun under your pillow? Are you going to bring it in the shower? Are you going to bring your gun to the mall? To school? To the movie theatre? To the sorority/frat house to get your drank on?
Guns, if anything, give us all a false sense of security. Besides, I would rather tear the bitch's hair out and run her over with my lezbaru like a fucking lady. Ya know, the good ol' fashioned way.

The bottom line is, the argument that these shootings are not to be blamed on the guns but those who wield them is kind of silly. The fact is that the majority of people should not wield them (myself included). It would be a lot less simple to commit mass murder if we all had to resort to our steak knifes and eye-brow tweezers.

Think of all the people I would have shot by now... think of all the people.


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