Saturday, April 5, 2014

Let Them Eat Cake

These past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster ride of emotions. First, Zac Efron gets punched in the face by some random homeless guy, therefore possibly messing up his angelic money-maker (at least I got a piece of that sweet High School Musical ass a few months back). Then, James Franco gets busted for sexting a 17 year old girl. I mean, can a man not trust a high school girl to keep their celebrity sexting secret? I mean, is nothing sacred to these high schoolers anymore?

AND THEN, shit REALLY hit the fan. As if we have not had enough, Gwyneth and that Coldplay singer, Chris Brown, break up! His name is Chris Brown, right?

This is like Brad and Jennifer all over again, guys.
After eleven years of love and marriage, the two most vanilla, white toast people decided to call it quits.  It is both the most devastating and most boring thing we have ever heard (I go back and forth between crying and falling asleep constantly).

That being said, I feel really bad for Gwyneth. There was an article written about her recently that, if you have not read, you must take a look at:

The article is really eye-opening. It really gives us "have-nots" a look into the the unfortunate lives of the "haves."

In addition, *Cue Dolly Parton*, It really makes you re-think that song "9 to 5." I mean, guys, let's be real, Gwyneth's life is just so much harder than that. She says, "I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as--of course there are challenges, but its not like being on a set." 
She is absolutely right, having a "regular" little job that you need to go to everyday, all day, 365 days a year might be a little bit annoying at times but it is absolutely incomparable to being a movie star on set. No one quite understands Gwyneth. We all should be grateful for what we have.

I mean, every year Gwyneth is forced to go to work, like, one time (which movies has she been in lately anyways?). Working for one month out of a year can be quite the arduous task. How can these women who work 9 to 5 and go home to actually take care of their children without two au pairs present really understand Gwyneth's struggle? I mean, like, really understand it.

This one time, Gwyneth was even forced to eat a meal that was not organic. The food was purchased by one of Gwyneth's household slaves by accident. Gwyneth was sick in bed for months. She had to be spoon fed Caviar and Edamame for weeks after. The courage and strength that this lady possesses is unbelievable and possibly unobtainable.
And now, on top of that, Gwyneth needs to worry about losing the love of her life? She was forced to let go of the man who writes all of those beautiful, vomit-inducing love songs? (The vomit-inducing love songs that were probably inspired by the vomit-inducing Gwyneth herself).
*Cue "Sparks"*
It is just so beautiful...
I am sure there has been many cathartic moments for everyone these past couple of weeks as we reflect on Gwyneth's unfortunate life. I mean, no one works has hard as Gwyneth, absolutely no one. She is a victim of both nepotism and white privilege and I am pretty sure starving babies in Africa do not envy her.

So this, this blog post is dedicated to the people who really work the hardest. This goes out to all the Gwyneth Paltrows out there. We salute you. Thank you.


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