Monday, April 21, 2014

265 Days a Year, 6 Days a Week

The past season of Real Housewives of Atlanta (and Beverly Hills, for that matter) has been anything but interesting or inspirational. All fall and winter, every Sunday night, I would look for drama just to discover an hour filled with boredom and bitter disappointment. I had to resort to watching Shameless on Sunday nights, just to make ends meet. This was the only way I could get my "pointless drama" fix for the day. Bravo let me down, Bravo let us all down.
It made me feel weak, hopeless and alone. We spent a whole season talking about an alleged affair between Apollo and Kenya. The situation was pretty anti-climactic and, to be honest, it was pretty damn boring. I fucking hope Kenya fucked Apollo because if she did not, then they sure did waste a whole fucking season talking about it.

When we were not talking in circles about whether or not Apollo and Kenya did the dirty deed, we were listening to the stupidity of Porsha Stewart. First, if anyone recalls from last season, there was the whole incident where she kind of, sort of, did not know how many days there are in a year...

Then, to add insult to injury, this season she maybe, sort of, did not quite know what the Underground Railroad was. Now I am going to ignore the obvious and that is that every fucking American should know what this was... not to mention the fact that she is, in fact, African-American and that is kind of, like, important for her to know. But, to make matters worse, Porsha is the grand daughter of the civil rights leader Reverend Hosea Williams.
You would think she would know where all her family money comes from and why your grandfather was kind of a big deal. I mean, he was, like, Martin Luther King Jr. status. 

"Wait, Martin Luther who?" -Porsha

I think it is a real accomplishment on Porsha's part to stay so ignorant to such a well-known movement in American history. She literally must have tried her damndest to not know what the fuck has gone on in our country. An accomplishment almost worth applauding... almost.
Even Kandi Burruss repeatedly tried to explain to the simple-minded Porsha (when Porsha went searching for the train tracks that belonged to the Underground Railroad) that it was "NOT...AN...ACTUAL... TRAIN."

So, to put it delicately, Porsha is a fucking moron. But really, there is no news there.

Kenya's indiscretion and Porsha's stupidity were not enough to keep my interest. I found myself unfulfilled and unsatisfied. Now, out of no where, previews of the reunion have been popping up, foreshadowing a huge, blow-out fist fight between these two classy ladies.
If you believe news reports, Porsha was even arrested at the reunion and Kenya is pressing charges. The other rumor circulating the fight is that Porsha was fired from the Real Housewives and, in an act of defending her, the other housewives claim they will quit if Kenya does not get fired instead of Porsha. Such noble actions by such noble housewives.

At the end of the day, I would prefer if neither got fired, seeing they provided the only entertainment of the season.

All I have to say is: thank god the Real Housewives of Orange County and New York are back. Finally I have something to live for once again.

Did you watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion last night? Who do you think one this girl fight? My vote is for Porsha.

Happy Housewives watching!!!


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