Saturday, September 14, 2013

As Gandhi once said, 'Karma is a Raging Bitch'

Or is it? Let's think about this one. I rarely watch the news but recently I happened to have caught the ending of a news story concerning George Zimmerman. At first I thought it was a continuation of the Trayvon Martin case but then I quickly realized that the Zimmster struck again! Although he was recently acquitted from all charges regarding Trayvon Martin, the dumb bastard could not keep his shit together.
I mean, holy shit balls, if I got away with murder I would be counting my lucky fucking stars and shutting my evil ass up. Apparently Zimmerman got into some kind of physical/verbal altercation with his wife where he threatened to open fire on her and even broke her iPad!!!!!!!!!
Not the iPad! ANYTHING but the iPad. That is not only blatant disrespect to Saint Steve Jobs himself, but to Geniuses working at Genius bars EVERYWHERE. He has proven himself not only a racist, but even worse... a Windows enthusiast. My thoughts? Lock that motherfucker up and throw away the key already.

This reminds me of a fellow who goes by the name of OJ Simpson (by the way, any leads on what OJ stands for? Orange juice? Old Jewelry?). Simpson one day decides that he wants to kill his wife. Everyone knows the outcome of that one. He is acquitted as per the motto "If it doesn't fit, acquit!" Meanwhile, anyone who has half of brain knows that most likely the crime was committed.  Similar to trials such as George Zimmerman and Casey Anthony, their lawyers found loop holes in the laws in order to find them legally innocent. For months and months the media coverage followed these cases until they were all found not guilty. The court was forced to listen to hours and hours of testimonies and the jury was forced to sit on the stand and miss work for weeks only to find these murderers innocent. Then, after all of that, THE BITCHES DECIDE TO ACT UP AGAIN. Therefore, essentially, shooting everyone's hard work straight to H-E-double hockey sticks.
After OJ got off scott free, he later wrote what he thought would be the next great American novel apparently. It was a book called "If I did It." There was a massive amount of controversy surrounding the book. Many were outraged that he was trying to make money off of the murders that he was acquitted of. Kinda rude.
For the few who did not already think OJ was a douche bag, they definitely did now. OJ did not stop at that, however. Not long after, he got himself into some trubs involving armed robbery and kidnapping (ya know, the usual Saturday afternoon festivities). He is currently serving a sentence of 30+ in jail. His rotten ways seem to have caught up to him. 

We all have asked ourselves this question about karma and whether or not it really exists. I know I have been asking myself this my whole entire life. Did my boobs wind up to be A cups because I made fun of my mom's boobs when I was a tween? Did my ex-boyfriend cheat on me with a trashy dumb biddy who duck faces all day because I have been making fun of the duck face (and ducks) since it was invented? AND, most importantly, will my ex-boyfriend be punished for his indecency by someone other than me? Questions, I pose them.

Maybe none of this is karma. Maybe it is just plain old fashioned stupidity. Zimmerman and Simpson were just not smart enough to accept their good fortune and be on their way. They were too stupid to think, "Hmm, bettah not kidnap this person" or "Nah, maybe I will not threaten this person with my gun this time around." Perhaps they never even thought for a MINUTE that maybe they would not be so lucky the second time around. 

Additionally, maybe I only have stupidity to blame for my small boobs. I was too stupid to save up my pennies for a proper boob job. And lastly, as far as my ex-boyfriend cheating, perhaps I was too stupid to date someone who could possibly appreciate all of this fabulosity. ALL OF THIS WOMAN!!!

Side note: we have not heard a peep out of Casey Anthony. Is she a genius or did karma just not catch up to her yet? Only time will tell.

Just a little food for thought.


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