Shall we review the most paramount moments of 2015?
1) That time my dog was constipated for a week
My poor booboo couldn't poop, like, at all. She ate too much of the cardboard from those pasta boxes. It was heartbreaking, earth-shattering and how could anyone ever really forget that week of true bowel dysfunction?!
2) When I tried McDonald's vanilla ice cream for the first time
3) When I didn't write a blog post about how I hated Taylor Swift
4) When I finally made that inevitable switch to Colgate
After years of vacillation, I finally had to make the big decision. I had to make a choice and stick to it for good. I finally chose the Colgate. Spongebob sparkly bubblegum: I shall miss you.
5) When the U.S. continuously supported a modern day Hitler
There are no words.
6) When Jennifer Lawrence didn't get paid 'nuff.
10 million a movie just ain't cutting it for J-Law. And why should it? Why should she have to work her cute little butt off for 3 months out of the 12 for only millions of dollars?! Not fair, not cool, no way.
7) When I didn't get the flu shot... again.
Gosh dung it.
8) When my neighbor's fish died.
It really was a very nice fish.
10. I finished a whole watermelon.
Overall, 2015 was a year of triumph, tragedy and Trump. Happy New Year to you all!