Sunday, March 10, 2013

Ladies, It Ain't Easy Bein' Independent

Phew. This past friday was International Women's Day and I do not know about you ladies, but I am absolutely exhausted. It was a day full of sandwich making and performing fellatio. Women's day is a very special day where we can all really show how far we have come in both the kitchen and the bedroom. I am a very proud biddy indeed.
Honey boo boo is just one example of a future strong female in our society. And those toddlers in tiaras? They are the future feminists of America for sure. Life is like one big beauty pageant in my eyes, anyways.

In all seriousness, the day is a whole lot of stupid, if you are asking me.
Let me start with the first question that pops into my mind when I hear about this "International Women's Day" nonsense. What does that make us the other 364 days of the year? Chopped liver? I mean, let's be real for a second, it is ALWAYS international Man's day, so throwing us a supposed special day means pretty much jack shit. Take your little pity holiday back and just buy me some diamonds and/or other material goods instead.
And that's for reeeeeyaaaaaaaaal.

Additionally, am I the only one who recognizes that the day succeeds in further marginalizing women? Helloooooo Derp. Feminists rejoice in this day when actually it does exactly what they are trying to undo. Come on, bitches, use those noggins. Women should not need to have a day. Everyday should be International Women AND Men's day... and puppies' day. Yeah, we have vaginas but whatever. Get over it. We are still people and shit.

SIDE NOTE: What is this I hear about some shirts being sold on Amazon that say Keep Calm and Rape me??
Hold a bitch back!!!! Fret not, biddies. Apparently Obama signed some "Violence Against Women Act." Thank god we have some big strong man to save us from the big bad creepists out there!
Per usual, prince charming saves the day! And thank GOD for this new law. No more violence against women!!!!!! YAY!
Violence is rude. And I for one am glad that Obama has finally put an end to it, once and for all.

My point is: any strong woman, any independent woman who don't need no mannn is celebrating International Women's Day ALL DAY ERRYDAY and that's for damn sho!

I'm out!

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